What does fear do for you?

It seems like there is no shortage of fear in this world. The conundrum is that in some situations we welcome it. Take Halloween, jump scares, or roller coasters for example. Some wait all year for Halloween to come around and relish the holiday season. Others like the occasional jump scare, especially when watching a scary movie, and some are like me and love the rush of a roller coaster (even if it means standing in line for an hour).

In all of those examples, people welcome a little bit of fear in their life. One the other hand when it involves being able to pay the bills, job hunting, stepping outside your comfort zone, or starting a business people will do nearly anything to avoid fear. It has been said that fear can be looked at as an acronym, F.E.A.R, meaning "false events appearing real."

Take starting a new business. We can easily get ourselves worked up with the ways things could go wrong. It’s the mind's imagination that runs rampant that stirs up a sense of false events appearing real. Those false events are what makes us stop in our tracks. When our fear gets to be too much to handle, we all start to backpedal.

In this blog entry, I am going to cover a few things to consider when facing your fear.

What does fear do for you?

Let’s start with what fear does for you. The first thing that needs to be understood is that there is a healthy side to fear. The biggest advantage is that it triggers the body's survival instincts. A lot like Spiderman’s “spidey sense”, fear is your body's early warning system. The caveat is depending on what’s going on around you if you don’t learn how to control it, it can paralyze you. I will point out that I am not a psychologist and the purpose of this blog is not to give medical advice. I only offer a perspective that I believe can be useful for people when considering fear in a business or personal setting.

The other thing about fear is that it can give you an adrenaline rush. This is the aspect of fear that has junkies loving Halloween and roller coasters. Especially when considering dangerous situations an adrenaline rush can keep you on your toes making you more alert and capable of tolerating higher levels of pain. Think of the stories of parents lifting cars off of trapped children. When a person is scared beyond all belief and a family member is threatened, appropriately harnessed adrenaline can make a person superhuman (for a short time, at least).

Unfortunately, that is where the negative side of fear raises its ugly head. We have all heard about our fight or flight response. When you are pushed to your limit, especially in a fearful situation, when that adrenaline is pumping you will either have the ability to fight or flee. Ultimately, what is meant to be a good thing, adrenaline, can also turn the most reasonable person into a helpless statue.

The way I see it, when it comes to business or personal situations, the mind's ability to create false events that appear real can trigger the “flee response.” I think this is where people get stuck when chasing their dreams, are considering a job change, or desire to start a business. Fear activates the “flee response” and more often than not people allow that response to control their lives.

Can you ever get used to it?

While I may have painted a picture that seems dire, I have good news. You can get used to your fear and learn to control it. I will throw one other advisory out there. I know there are clinical phobias that require the assistance of a trained professional. Outside of those very specific circumstances the majority of people can learn to control their fear over time. Let’s use an example from public safety and the military.

There are stress inoculated training exercises that certain professions use to introduce students into situations that induce stress and fear. The purpose is for students to get a taste of what “real” situations will be like in a controlled environment. The ultimate goal is for students to work through the situations while thinking clearly and accomplishing the learning objective. The benefit is that the more the students go through the simulated situations the less impact stress and fear affect them over time. By the time a real life situation rolls around those trainees have a better chance of triggering their “fight response” and surviving an encounter successfully.

I am sure that sounds all fine and good for people in those high risk professions but what about those that aren’t? Like those that just want to launch a business or change careers but are afraid? To that I say, you can still learn to get used to fear. The trick, like those undergoing stress inoculated training exercises, is that it takes repetition and exposure to get used to it. This can come in a few different forms. You can take a role in the field you want to grow in, through volunteer work, entry level position, or even apprenticeship if possible. Over time, the more you are able to do things that push you to the point of stress and fear the easier things will become over time. Before you know it, those things that used to scare you will be easier to tolerate, especially if you follow some of the tips below.

Tips for conquering your fear

• Control your circumstances

The more time you sit on a decision and worry, stress, or allow your mind to create false events the more likely you are to do nothing about it. Take control of your future by taking action. When taking action you starve your mind of time. I think that time is your worst enemy and biggest contributing factor to fear becoming debilitating. I know we can all count numerous times where we were afraid to make a decision and instead sat back and did nothing and our fear ate away at us until we either gave up or did something about it. Believe it or not, giving up is an action just as much as forging ahead. You may as well take control of the situation and do something about it. Ultimately it may end up costing you less worry and stress.

• Do your research

Once you are on the path of taking action, do your research. I am a research nerd. If I don’t know something, I will leave no stone unturned. This does not need to be the painstaking research you did as a student, especially if you are researching something you will be passionate about. If it’s a business, look up websites, articles, competitors, and forums and find out everything you can about that business. If it’s a new career or job opportunity take the same steps but add researching different companies to your list. If you have specific financial needs you better have a really good idea of the implications and cover that in your research.

• Ask questions

Leverage your network and start asking a ton of questions. Believe it or not this may be the hardest part for some, but in my mind this is the most important step. You will be surprised at how many people will be open to talking when you simply ask a question. Even if it means finding random people on LinkedIn and sending a direct message, find people to ask questions of. One secret when you finally get a hold of someone is when you end the conversation ask them if they can recommend someone else they can refer you to to ask more questions. You would be surprised at what that one question can do for you.

• Don’t wait too long to pick your moment

So you have taken a path of action, done your research, and asked a majority of the questions you need to. Don’t take too long to take the final plunge, but choose your moment wisely. There will come a time when there is a fine balance between making the final decision to move forward with that job or business and waiting for the right moment. You can’t haphazardly make a jump but you don’t need to make sure the stars are aligned perfectly. There won’t ever be a perfect time to change a career, job, or even start a business but there are “better” times than others. Like I said there will be a fine line between actually doing what you plan to do or giving up because “things aren’t perfect.” The idea of waiting for things to be perfect is that last ditch effort your flight response, to fear, is making too take control. This does not mean ignoring your fear if after all your efforts you realize this course of action is dangerous, or wrong, but it does mean recognizing the fear if it is a “false event appearing real” and overcoming it.

• Get guidance and advice

The final tip is to get guidance and advice when appropriate. Within your network find professionals that have done what you want to do and succeeded. Even try to find a mentor that can help guide you through the unknown, if you can. The point is you don’t need to journey on your own. With the right support network you will be able to overcome your fears and venture on a new career or business path to success.

We are all on this crazy journey called life together. I hope that this blog helped you recognize what fear does for you and what you can do to conquer it.

You are not in this alone. Please reach out to me via email, drop a comment, and explore the plethora of social media options I have available for additional guidance. To learn how I can support you visit www.lionconsulere.com.